The Usual Societal Things

By: Bhawna Kumari Das

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Society – that particular thing, about which every person cares or more precisely fears that what society and people will think. But how does it matter, why we are obliged to follow their so called ‘societal norms’. Society has some of their so called standards through which every now and then they will judge you. Every time they will tell you, infact remind you of your status, your clothes, your skin, your colour, your height, weight,etc and ofcourse they will definitely have their nose in your relationships. “A boy and girl hanging out together definitely they are dating”, I mean it’s absolutely okay if they are dating but not every boy and girl need to be a couple you know, they could be just friends also. A boy need not to have only male friends and the same goes with the girls. If a girl hangs out with boys it doesn’t make her characterless. It’s just she is having fun with her friends. This society has set some boundaries for both men and women although things are changing for better but still there are some of the few people who are caged in their stereotypical thoughts. If we talk about gender based inequality, not just women but men are also a victim of it, I mean why men can’t cry or do household chores, why a women is obliged to follow the men in their family? Why a strong opiniated person is always tagged as arrogant, impolite and rude? Why people are judged according to their dress or profession? Why only people talk about equality but don’t understand what equality is? Why discrimination based on caste, religion, race, status? Why we need to fear those 4 people who actually have nothing to do with our lives? I am a girl and I do understand the vulnerabilities of men. Like he also longs for love and care, he can also have breakdown, he also wants to cry and speak about his problems and fears, but, if they do so society will not accept it and that shit is really a matter of concern. Something which I have heard a lot growing up “Kya ladki ke jaise to raha h, asli mard rote nhi h” Let me tell you “asli mard rulaate nhi h” and it’s okay to cry at times. People need to understand this that crying is not a sign of weakness, it’s just pouring your emotions out and we actually feel better after crying. We have got some sort of standards that a girl or boy needs to be like this or else….or else….. nothing but they will definitely make it an issue. A boy needs to have a secured job i.e employed then only he will be respected otherwise even your own parents will start to treat you like you are nothing. But every person be it a boy or girl should be financially independent and if not it’s okay they can take care of the house. A girl this one’s with my own experiences, “ you need to do household chores because you are a girl” and not because of your necessity, you should be calm and composed even if people really piss you off to the another level, and if you say something in your defence or put your opinions especially infront of so called elders you are a ‘rude impolite’ girl. ‘Don’t you have manners, don’t you know how to talk with elders’, they will say but do they have the manners how to talk with young people. I believe respect is something which is earned and should not be begged in the name of gender or age. You give respect and you will get respect. ‘You don’t know cooking what will your in laws say after marriage’, like really I need to learn cooking so that I don’t starve for food and not to show my skills infront of people whom I don’t know. AND EVERY PERSON NEEDS TO LEARN COOKING AND BASIC HOUSEHOLD CHORES NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE. And what is this respect her because she’s a girl, no, respect me because I am a human being and I deserve that respect. And most important thing you need not to respect a person because he or she is older in age, if they talk shit they need to and will get the treatment as they deserve. And please stop this shit of comparing people, two people are different because they have different situations and capabilities. No one can ever be the carbon copy of anyone because everyone has their own approach. Now let’s come to my favourite topic marriage. Let me tell you marriage is an option not a necessity. And if you go by society rules then you are always late for marriage. There is no rule mentioned that you need to marry before thirty or it’s late. No baby you can marry anyone, anytime when you want to if you have crossed the legal age. You don’t want children take your time, you can’t have children adopt one or you have other ways as well don’t take the shit what society tells. If you are not happy you have all rights to walk out of the relationship, you don’t need to suffer because of what society tells. You happy being single then enjoy because at the end of the day all matters is what we think of ourselves. Like you don’t need to go to temple every day to show your love and devotion towards God , the almighty already knows, likewise you don’t need to explain yourself to people because you know who you are. And when people say na, “ log kya kahenge, hum samaaj mein kya muh dikhayenge”. Tell them “ log kuch nhi kahenge filhal aap hi bol rahe ho aur jo shakal di hai na bhagwan ne vahin wala muh samaaj mein dikha lena”. And, and, and it was not our choice to be born as a girl or a boy, rich or poor, but what we are today only because of ourselves and we should be proud of ourselves. And never be sorry for being yourself. Tell everyone that this is my life,my opinion,my choice, my body, my skin, my space,my own territory, anything and everything which happens to me is my responsibility and I know how to handle it. So everyone hug your self, praise yourself, love yourself every single day for being yourselves.

By: Bhawna Kumari Das

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