Don’t be Judgmental

Photo @ truelifecoaching

Society. The one thing that binds humans of various strata together and unifies us. But do we really live up to the meaning of society? Since our childhood days we have been hearing from our parents that “bhalo kore lekha pora na korle lokey ki bolbe?” i.e. what would people say if you don’t study and bring good results. Apparently these “people” comprise our so called societies. Not only in the field of studies but also for fields like occupation, marriage etc. we have to listen to these things. From a very young age, our results, talents like drawing or music or dance skills have been compared to either our relatives’ children or our next door neighbors’ children. Both parties’ parents get into a form of a verbal spar regarding whose child is the best. But have they ever thought about what or how it affects the child? Hence the one change that I would like to implement or see for uplifting our society is to change or rather reduce their judging mentality or hypocrisy.

Hypocrisy and judgmental attitude is the root cause of some of the biggest problems in society today. These attitudes are a bar to the development and well being of our society. According to me, the root cause of most of the problems that we see in dailies today like suicides, riots, street fights etc. is the judgmental attitude of the people that comprise our society .No human is perfect. It is our imperfections that make us unique in our own way. So who are we to judge others? Since ancient times, we have seen cases of social isolation where an individual has been completely isolated from a society for either being wrongly accused for something or for being a witch or possessing some kind of mystical powers. All those gruesome practices on women such as sati or widow burning etc. were a result of society’s judgmental attitude and peoples’ ignorance. Most of the suicide cases that we see today are results of being afraid of being shunned by the people of the society they belong to. It seems people are more interested in others’ lives than their own. Women who are molested or eve-teased or raped stay silent due to the fear of being shunned by society or fear of social isolation. What kind of society do we live in where we have no unity? But, yes, the most ironical fact is that, we do have unity at the time of hating or shunning someone. Our hypocritical demeanor comes from our plummeted nature, as demonstrated by our past deeds, interpersonal relationships and as testified by modern behavioral scientists. No human seems to be immune from this poison called hypocrisy. Our hypocritical attitude causes us to behave in a derogatory way, while making us believe that we are acting in a total different way. People show their hypocritical mindset either intentionally or it gets out as a slip of tongue. The problem with us is that we seem to hate things fast rather than trying to understand them and like them. Our ignorance causes our blindness resulting in our hatred. This type of attitude is not only pernicious for us, but it also slowly degrades our character and personality. It is an evidence of our insecure and hateful consciousness. Superficially, it may appear that being super judgmental about other people’s lives and decisions depicts our confident selves, but actually there is something much deeper going on which is our insecurity. It has become our natural habit to judge other people, but it’s not rational or productive to scrutinize someone’s actions, especially if they are satisfied with their choices. Our judgmental mindset not only holds us back from giving our best but also it makes us miss out on greater opportunities. It is in our nature that we humans will consistently continue to criticize others, but it’s crucial for us to recognize the line between being encouraging or constructive and being spiteful. Making despotic and overarching judgments leads to a great deal of dejection and misbalance in our society. People nowadays lack empathy. Preferably, our adherence to our judgments seems to be based on the depth of our knowledge. Regrettably, people often form strong judgments on the basis of snapshots of their memory or on the basis of their stereotyped mindset. The act of judging someone can have similar effects to other forms of discrimination and partisanship. People being judged often feel isolated, ashamed, misunderstood, criticized and demeaned. They suffer from self doubt and lose their optimistic views on life. People who are judged become less likely to talk about what they’re going through and ask for the help they need. They suffer from mental disorders as a result. Students mainly suffer from peer pressure and face harsh judgments from their parents if they are not being able to perform upto the limit set up by their parents. Not only do they become frustrated and depressed but also engage in various bad activities like smoking, drug abuse etc so as to get temporary happiness and the feeling of relief and solace. But these activities not only destroy their physical being but also scar their tender minds. Hence they end up committing suicides or run away from their homes’.

The saddening truth is that people judge as a result of the various character deficits they possess like self-esteem issues. Those individuals who have a hard time feeling confident and optimistic about their own  lives, abilities, and contributions often become hypocrites in order to compensate for what they do not personally have. A person who judges constantly is actually discontent with their lives and has insecurities and utilizes those judgments of others to make them feel better about their own shortcomings or deficits. This can be at a conscious or unconscious level. An individual who constantly envies others and has a difficult time being content or being genuinely supportive is prone to being a hypocrite. People who seldom have compassion and empathy on others, pre-judge everyone, and expect perfection are actually people who want to be in control of everyone and everything. Those who pre-judge before actually getting to know the truth are the ones who are engrossed in a lot of presumptions and discriminatory behaviors. Hence being a hypocrite reflects our own character instability and degrades the constructive ethos of our society.

The only way to get rid of this hypocrisy is if we start overcoming or learn to overcome our character deficits. We should make it our goal to better ourselves. If every human takes an initiative to be their better selves then only can we bring a change in our society. We should stop hating people and start trying to understand them. This will not only reduce hypocrisy but also the violence that we see daily. We should start showing empathy towards others and sympathy to those who deserve. Parents should look out for their children and help them support their decisions. We should stand beside those who are discriminated and molested and not shun them. Let us all take some small steps so as to bring a huge change in our society in the near future and make our society a better place to live in.


Author : Sinzini Ghosh, A participant of International Essay Competition , August 2018



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here