Is it my lifestyle or yours?
Lifestyle: when we think about it, the first thing that comes to mind is: Is it my lifestyle or yours? We often aspire to have someone else’s lifestyle rather than our own. Maybe the struggle of travelling long distances to work is the worst, and we wish we lived next to the office. On the other hand, someone may wish they could travel, at least to change their mood. Maybe I wish I was born with a silver spoon, while someone else wishes they could be a normal common person who could at least have the choice to discover himself or herself. From the shine of lounges to the claustrophobia of cabins, each one of us strives to be something that we aren’t.
But what exactly is lifestyle, and does it really matter?
I firmly believe that lifestyle isn’t something that can be generalised or explained by anyone. It simply runs on our experiences and our way of fighting and giving up within those struggles. Going through these struggles, undergoing multiple transformations and transitions, shapes our lives.
Growing up, life was simple. It was about loved ones around us, the warmth of our mother, playtime with our father, and little mischief and fights with siblings. We did not realise that the hands that cradle us, or the people we once thought were the greatest relief in our lives, could sometimes become the ones we need to be cautious about.
The friends we once dreamed with suddenly become pillars of competition and jealousy in the race to make it big. The slow-paced childhood has now turned into a never-ending puzzle of finding the missing pieces, a puzzle with never-ending jigsaws.
But in the midst of running to make an empire or trying to continue an empire, what no one wonders about is how to cope with it.
Travel, but have no money, no leave policy, no permission.
Yoga, but no time, no will, no place to be isolated.
Eat healthy, but who will cook? Expensive groceries, and sometimes no emotional satisfaction.
Hobby classes, but isn’t every other hobby class becoming a money trap? Can one really afford it?
What about meeting friends? But what about those random talks?
Clothes and things become another source of stress because of the fear of being judged.
Isn’t this what all of us struggle with but hardly say out loud because we are trying to fit in?
Reading about lifestyle, listening to speakers and coaches, everything sounds great. But unless one has multiple resources, especially someone who can shift their responsibilities onto others, how realistic is it? The person under the weight of responsibilities may not be able to follow all these instructions. Perhaps one in ten or one in a hundred can manage it all exceptionally well.
In general, we are struggling with illogical expectations and too many guidelines that constantly make us compare ourselves and feel that it isn’t enough. Instead of reducing the load on our lifestyle, these expectations add more.
Hygge is a Danish concept focused on creating a cosy, warm and comfortable environment to feel content and safe. Lagom is a Swedish concept meaning “not too little, not too much, just right,” promoting moderation and balance in daily habits.
The conventional advice often falls short because, in the end, the notion of guiding rather than understanding continues to prevail. People have consciously and unconsciously started to believe that there is something really wrong with them, even when it may not be the case.
There is a constant pressure to balance our private and professional lifestyles, when in reality both are trying to merge and dominate each other. Can one really separate them? Can they really balance it out? Or is it just what we are doing to fit into a trend across the world?
Yoga centres, for example, can sometimes become more about expensive kits, detox drinks, diets, brands and packages than yoga itself. The same can happen with other areas that claim to help us balance our lifestyle. Thus, in the process of balancing and preaching lifestyle, we are back in the vicious cycle of peer pressure, status and judgement.
So who can actually try to successfully mimic a perfect lifestyle?
Someone financially stable, has limited personal working hours, has house help, has access to facilities, has freedom at work and has choices that they can make. It sounds more like a CEO or an established person. But there is one CEO in a company and hundreds or thousands of executives and staff who may be struggling with things that pull them away from their ideal lifestyle.
Maybe the CEO has transferred some responsibilities to them. And that is just one example. Look closely, and the cycle continues everywhere.
The moment things get decentralised, the shift changes. Lifestyle is impacted. So how can one person preach the lifestyle of another?
And there are things that are not yet mentioned. The biggest factors are age and gender.
A 25-year-old with no responsibilities can still manage things, either individually or with family support. But what about someone of the same age with retired parents, widowed parents or huge responsibilities?
The age may be the same, but the lifestyle cannot be the same.
Men and women may also experience these pressures differently. Men may, in some circumstances, be able to separate work pressure and household chores more easily. But what about women? Can they really separate them? Especially mothers?
Research on time poverty gives this question another dimension. Hyde, Greene and Darmstadt discuss how women and girls across different settings carry substantial amounts of unpaid domestic and caregiving work. Their review notes that girls aged 10 to 14 spend about 50% more time helping around the house than boys of the same age. It also discusses research showing that women in developing countries spent, on average, considerably more time on unpaid work than men. In rural Pakistan, the research cited in the review found that 37% of employed women were time poor compared with 19% of employed men. These findings come from different studies and countries, but they show how responsibilities can affect the amount of discretionary time a person actually has.
This is what is called time poverty. The problem may not always be a lack of motivation. Sometimes there simply isn’t enough time left after work, caregiving and household responsibilities.
So when we tell someone to exercise, meditate, travel, eat healthy, learn a hobby or spend more time with family, perhaps we should also ask: Does that person actually have the time and resources to do it?
Lifestyle is also connected with work itself. A 2025 study of 154 workers from different workplace settings in Sousse, Tunisia, examined work-related stress and lifestyle behaviours. The study reported job strain among 31.8% of participants and found associations between occupational stress and lifestyle-related factors, including physical activity and sleep. The researchers highlighted the need to consider workplace conditions when thinking about lifestyle and wellbeing. Since the study was cross-sectional, it shows associations rather than proving that work stress causes these behaviours.
This makes me think again about the advice we receive.
Work hard, but don’t stress.
Exercise, but where is the time?
Sleep properly, but what about the unfinished work?
Eat healthy, but who will prepare the food?
Spend time with family, but what about the office calls?
Take a break, but what about the income?
Gender can also influence how lifestyle is experienced. Varì and colleagues discuss how dietary habits and physical activity can be influenced by gender-related attitudes and behaviours, while social, economic, cultural and societal factors interact with gender differences to shape health. This again makes lifestyle less about an isolated personal choice and more about the circumstances in which people live.
And then there is another reality.
People are dashing through life to the point that they may not even care about their lifestyles anymore. The moment they have free time, they would rather find a gig. Why? To add to their income, to find something to do, or perhaps simply because free time itself has become difficult to sit with.
Life is sandwiched between responsibilities.
We want time, but we need money.
We work to earn money, but work consumes time.
We want to improve our lifestyle, but improving it often requires more time and money.
We finally get some free time, and sometimes we use that time to work again.
So where does the lifestyle actually exist?
Maybe the problem is not that people don’t know how to live. We are surrounded by advice about how to eat, work, travel, exercise, rest, dress, socialise and succeed. We have speakers, coaches, influencers, wellness centres and lifestyle trends constantly telling us what a balanced life should look like.
But perhaps we have forgotten to understand the person who is actually living that life.
Things and situations vary, and so does lifestyle. Glorifying one lifestyle does not mean there is something wrong with another. We are aware of what is going wrong. We know what we need to fix, and we know that we can, if we try. But what we need is someone who actually empathises with us, someone who works for the general things that can make life better rather than trying to mould us and constantly alarming us that we are not aware enough, that we need to do more, or that we are somehow falling behind.
Yes, talking about lifestyle is a must. Understanding it is a must. Improving it is important too.
But straining over it isn’t.
Perhaps lifestyle should not become another competition, another checklist or another reason to feel that we are not doing enough.
Perhaps it should simply be about understanding that every person is living a different life, carrying different responsibilities and making different choices.
So, in the end, the question remains:
Is it my lifestyle or yours?
And perhaps the answer is that it should be mine, as long as I understand it, accept it and continue to make it better in a way that is possible for me.
By: Shameela Fatima Mirza
Write and Win: Participate in Creative writing Contest & International Essay Contest and win fabulous prizes.
About the Author
