Nowadays, TikTok makes us forget what it means to be human. Every day we open TikTok and we see perfect life on FYP – aesthetic outfits, expensive cafes in big cities, glowing skin, perfect morning routines at 5 AM, and people who look always happy and rich. At first I just watch for fun because TikTok is entertaining and addictive. But slowly after watching for months, I feel pressured without realizing it. I start to compare my life with their life. I think many teenagers in Indonesia, especially students like me, feel the same. We feel we have to look perfect to be accepted by society. We feel we have to follow the trend to look cool and not be seen as poor or outdated. In Indonesia we usually call this feeling gengsi. From a humanism perspective, this is very dangerous because humanism teaches that human value should not be measured by things or by money. Humanism teaches us that every person has dignity and worth just because they are human, not because of what they wear or what they buy. Every human deserves respect regardless of their lifestyle. So in this essay I want to explain this problem of prestige pressure on TikTok from a humanist point of view and how it affects our life as young people.

The main problem with TikTok is it makes our life look like a product, not like a real human life. Humanism says that a human is valuable because of their heart, their kindness, their effort, their honesty, not because of their appearance or their branded stuff. But TikTok does the opposite. On TikTok, what is valued is how aesthetic you look and how expensive your lifestyle seems. People only post the good side of their life. No one wants to post when they are crying, when they fail an exam, when they fight with their parents, or when they have no money at the end of the month. For example, my own friend in Sukoharjo went to a viral cafe in Solo Baru. She spent almost 75k for coffee and cake just for a 15 second TikTok video. She did it because she wanted to make content like the influencers. After that she told me privately that she had to eat instant noodles for two days because her weekly money was gone. But on her TikTok, her life looks so perfect and rich and happy. Many influencers are like that too. Some of them rent branded clothes from rental accounts, some use heavy filters and editing to make their skin perfect, and some even fake their daily routine. They make a morning routine video that is not their real morning, just for aesthetic. But we who watch it every day believe it is real. We think their life is really that perfect. We start to think our normal life is not enough. We forget that being human is okay to be imperfect, okay to be simple, okay to be tired. Humanism teaches us to accept imperfection, but TikTok teaches us to hide imperfection.

Because of this fake standard, many of us, including me sometimes, start to buy things we don’t really need, just because of gengsi. This is where humanism is lost. Humanism teaches us to respect ourselves and others as we are, without condition. But gengsi culture on TikTok teaches us to respect people only if they look expensive, only if they follow trend. In my class, I see many students buy viral skincare from TikTok Shop even though it is very expensive, maybe 150k to 200k for small product, and not even suitable for their skin. They buy it just because an influencer said it is good and because they don’t want to feel left behind. Or they buy new shoes every month because there is a new trend like Adidas Samba or New Balance 530. I also have a friend who borrowed money from her friend just to buy a viral totebag that was trending for only two weeks. After two weeks, no one talks about that totebag anymore, so she feels she wasted money. It is actually sad if we think deeply about it. We spend money not because we need it, but because we want validation from other people. We want likes, we want comments like you are so aesthetic or your outfit is so cute. We want to feel accepted. If this continues, it will become a really bad habit for our future. We will never have saving. How can we save money for important things like books, for UKT, for helping our parents, or for our own future, if we always spend it for trends that only last for one week? After one trend is gone, there will be a new trend again, and we will feel pressured to buy again. It never stops, it is like a circle that makes us tired financially and mentally. From humanism perspective, this makes us lose our empathy and our true value because we start to see people as objects to be judged by their price, not as humans to be respected.

The worst impact is we slowly lose our real self and our real human connection. Humanism is about authenticity, about being true to yourself, about living honestly. But TikTok makes us become someone else. We don’t wear what we really like anymore. We wear what TikTok says is cool. We don’t eat what we want, but what looks good on camera. I have experienced this myself and it is tiring. Sometimes before eating, I have to take video first for my story or for TikTok. Before going out, I have to think for a very long time, almost an hour, is this outfit good enough for TikTok? Will people think I am fashionable? Will my video get many likes? It makes me exhausted. We cannot enjoy the moment anymore because we are too busy thinking about content. When we go to a cafe, we are not enjoying the coffee and the conversation, we are busy finding the best angle and the best lighting for video. When we go to angkringan with friends, we should be talking and laughing about real life, but instead we are busy taking content for social media. We lose real human connection. And because we always compare our life with influencer’s life, we become insecure very easily. If we cannot buy the same expensive things like TikTok people, we feel left behind. We feel like a failure. We feel our life is not interesting. I think this is why many teenagers now feel anxious and not confident and even feel depressed. They think their clothes are not good enough, their face is not good enough, their life is not aesthetic enough. But actually, a good lifestyle according to humanism is not about that. A good lifestyle should be about being comfortable with yourself, being kind to others, having real relationships, having peace of mind, and growing as a person with values. A simple life with real friends and real love is much more human than a luxurious life that is fake and empty. For me personally, sitting at a small angkringan in Sukoharjo with iced tea for only 5k and talking honestly with my best friends until night about our dreams and problems is much more meaningful and much more human than going to an expensive aesthetic cafe in Solo just for taking pictures and then feeling anxious because money is gone and we have to pretend to be happy.

So what should we do from a humanism perspective? I think we need to bring back human values in how we use social media. First, we need to be more critical and more mindful. Before buying something, we should pause and ask ourselves honestly, do I really need this as a human, or do I just want to look cool because of TikTok? Do I buy this because I like it or because I want other people to like me? This small question can save a lot of money and can save our mental health. Second, we need to practice empathy and respect. Stop judging people by their look on TikTok. Remember that everyone has their own struggle that they don’t post. That influencer who looks perfect might also have anxiety. That friend who wears simple clothes might be the most hardworking and kindest person. Humanism teaches us to see the heart, not the outfit. Third, we need to support each other to be authentic. In my small circle, we start to remind each other that it is okay to wear the same clothes twice or three times, it is okay to not go to viral places, it is okay to not have iPhone or branded bag. It is okay to be simple because simple does not mean poor, simple means you know what really matters. Humanism is about accepting that every person is different and that difference is beautiful. We don’t have to be the same like TikTok. TikTok should be used as a tool for learning, for entertainment, for creativity, not as a tool to measure human worth. We should control TikTok, not let TikTok control us. We must remember that our dignity as a human does not come from FYP, from likes, or from views, but from how we treat ourselves and how we treat other people with kindness.

In conclusion, from a humanism perspective, the pressure of prestige on TikTok is very dangerous because it makes us forget our real value as humans. We are not a product to be displayed, we are human beings with feelings, with struggles, and with dignity. If we keep forcing ourselves to look rich and perfect just because of gengsi and because of TikTok standard, we will only lose ourselves, lose real connection with friends and family, lose money, and become stressed and insecure. It is much better to live simply, authentically, and kindly, rather than looking rich on TikTok but feeling empty and anxious in real life. We should learn to love our own life, be grateful for what we have, respect our own journey, and respect other people not because of what they wear or what they buy, but because they are human like us. That is the true lifestyle according to humanism. That is the lifestyle that will make us truly happy.