Romance—a genre kind enough to win hearts and influential enough to leave them cold. Idealizing romance through movies, shows or dramas often makes a person fall in love with the idea of it. The emphasis is not merely on the on-screen romance, but how these portrayals are mirrored in one’s life. Are they meant to inspire us or disillusion us? Let’s break it down.
Many believe romance to be an earth shattering once-in-a-lifetime chance when found at the right time with the right person. Oh! To be kicking the air and having our toes curled when the leads finally kiss, and to be rooting for them since their first appearance on screen. Having our expectations upped in love hasn’t been beneficial for us romance genre lovers but do we stop fantasising? Absolutely never not! Every season, all us romance lovers from all over the world come together online to binge-watch the romcoms that are a hit of the season. And as soon as we’re all done giggling over the tropes, we can’t obviously get enough of it. So, we all start making edits of the romance couples from the shows. And there starts another series of bingeing all those sparkly lovey-dovey moments all over again.
‘A Walk to Remember’ is a classic 2000s romance movie, a book adaptation to be specific. It’s 2026 soon, and we’re all still talking about how Landon became so selfless and thoughtful and career-oriented when his path crossed with someone as open-minded, encouraging and inspiring as Jamie Sullivan. Not only did Landon become the kind of person Jamie needed by her side on her deathbed, but Jamie also became Landon’s person. Quoting the movie in context to their relationship, “Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offence and is not resentful”. So, my fellow audience, take notes. Love is just as pure and seamless.
And when it is about romance dramas, how can one forget about the Korean dramas that are ruling the hearts of our generation? Such green flag relationships. Crash Landing on You was that one k-drama that ransacked everybody’s brains out. Sir Ri Jeaong-hyeok, the man you are. Fighting against all odds to get to his girl and being an exemplary man for Yoon Se-ri. It was literally opposite worlds colliding. And us girls love nothing more. His chemistry with his on-screen female lead, his now wife, melted the hearts of so so so many. But this project brought something for them too. They fell in love whilst shooting the show and that is a love story in its own.
Adding on, we have a Chinese drama, ‘Intense Love’—focussed on work-life balance and supportiveness of spouses for each others’ careers. No matter how famous Su Jin bei was for her acting skills and how low-key Zhou Shi Yun was as a skilful doctor, he supported her regardless. Many people tried defaming her by circulating rumours regarding her alleged affairs and posting pictures with her fiancé without her consent, yet he remained calm, composed and strengthened the foundations of trust. He withstood the storm with her, and they ultimately became each other’s anchors.
Girls are reciprocators while guys are initiators. And as the foundation has been set by the guy, the reciprocation of the girl builds on a strong healthy relationship. This is what keeps her going, and keeps her up on her toes. Both the partners need to be empowering and supportive of each other. They should be sure of what they want. This is what these dramas teach both the genders. And, nonetheless, to be able to dream is what keeps us going. The hopeless romantics have their own way of colouring in their voids. They totally live for their fantasy worlds. They snuggle into their cosy beds with warming blankets, grab some popcorn and maybe a partner in crime, and get lost in romantic movies.
Let’s be real — we all want love, and watching on-screen portrayals only streamlines our thoughts and wants for a relationship. It unravels a soft and nurturing side of us that may otherwise remain undiscovered. Moreover, romance movies help navigate the relationship dynamic by emphasizing what to look for when it is our turn to be in love. Amidst the uncharted waters, they spark hope for second chances, unveiling love’s imperfect beauty. We don’t have to settle for less ever. And that is never a problem to begin with. Empowered love is loving without losing yourself.
While romance movies set high standards for you, they also set unrealistic expectations. These include overemphasized gestures, predestined soulmates and glamourised toxic traits. Talking about the overemphasized gestures, the most captivating are the grand declarations of love in public and destination proposals. This is where people spend millions of their wealth to plan a trip to a beach, a mountain peak, or a ship voyage just to make their relationship unofficially official. And, from this onwards, the real trail of events are yet to begin.
Secondly, tropes like predestined love, love at first sight, inseparable, instant and intense chemistry with strangers —all set unattainable fantasies. Out of hundreds and thousands of people, only one percent of them get to enjoy these fantasies in the world. Where this sounds majestic, at the same time it becomes difficult for people with insufficient means to live a happy, peaceful life. It may affect your mental health leading to inferiority complexes and depression. You barely get to enjoy life at its best. You start comparing your relationships with that of the fantastical shows and that’s when the real destruction begins.
Furthermore, the toxic traits disguised as unconditional love is detracting the youth from the right path. Most of the red flags of a relationship such as being overly possessive, controlling, marital constraints, compromising oneself for the other, and forcing oneself onto the other in the name of love are all perceived as concerned, caring, and overly-loving partners. Little does the audience pay attention to the red flags and get easily brainwashed into believing that that is what love is. Illustrating this standpoint with an example, the summer hit series, The Summer I Turned Pretty, very clearly talked about the psychological manipulation that boys opt to do when they want a girl who wants another. Jeremiah was nothing short of a red flag. Knowing Belly only ever wanted Conrad, he had to play the overlooked brother card and took advantage of Belly’s vulnerability when the brothers’ mother passed away. Also, Jeremiah had the audacity to ask Belly not to go to Paris for a formal study abroad program. Is this love? Love requires one to be selfless. This is a humiliation to what love stands for.
Another very popular trope where a mafia guy falls in love with an innocent girl, very overly glamorises the power men hold in a relationship. The guy destroys everything in order to get his girl, when truly, is that what a girl wants? He’d pick fights, baiting opponents to attack his weak spot-his girl. Then he’d restrict her, supposedly to keep her safe and protected. Firstly, loving someone isn’t supposed to make them your weakness. It is about making them your strength. You could make the heavens and the earths collide and still have them as your strength, protect them while respecting their choices and still live life peacefully together. Your love is not supposed to make her feel small or weak. This concept is absolutely abhorrent.
Consequently, when these traits unfold in real-life, there’s nothing but misery. When expectations are not met, people often become agitated for not having enough. Not everyone is rational enough to differentiate between fantasy and reality in practical relationships. It is never wrong to expect a lot and have such desires, but it is not healthy for the mind to fixate on only one possibility. As a result of depreciation, you feel emotionally misled. You don’t only question the fantasies you once admired, but the irony of life as well.
In this century, we are no longer abiding by the rules of these movies per se, but we’re also not having our hopes up with having a once-in-a-lifetime chance with experiencing love. Love is beautiful. It is never selfish. It changes how we see the world, ourselves and encourages compassion. Love fosters personal and mutual growth. You evolve together, build trust, understanding, and support becomes a lifelong promise. It bridges the gaps between you. It turns past hurts into lessons, and fears into trust reminding you love’s worth risking for again. Life is unpredictable, but love makes it worth living and worth remembering.
In conclusion, romance movies can act as an escape for one, and can be a source of lingering hope for the other as per their experiences in love. Therefore, a balanced practical approach must be adopted to inculcate fantastical romance in real-life relationships. Love is meant to empower you, help you evolve as an individual and make you feel complete, worthy and cherished. It has to be your strength. In the end, the power to let it inspire or disillusion you, rests upon you.
By: Syeda Fatima Javed
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