Everybody’s definition of friendship is different and in the current generation, it is very tough to define this word. In my words, friendship is a bond between individuals based on mutual trust, respect, and affection. It’s about being there for each other through life’s ups and downs, offering support, motivation, and a sense of belonging.
When you are in a “friend circle” you have to adjust with everyone because every friend’s character is not the same. Every friend’s way of speaking, behavior, and language is different. It is possible, that some might like your behavior and you don’t someone else’s but you have to be there because without adjustment friendship cannot be maintained. Honestly, I always stay quiet in my friend circle because that’s best for me to adjust.
Sometimes I think are people friends nowadays or are they pretending? In 2017, when I was chatting with one of my friends in my hometown, he told me that “if you have one thousand friends only a few are real. Most of them are temporary” I told him, “You are one of the real”. I realized that until I don’t go away from my friends, I won’t be able to know their character. It is hard to trust anyone in this 21st century, “show” and “perform”, are different, anyone can show or portray themselves that they are so close friends but nobody knows the reality it is easy to say and show that he or she is my close friend and best friend but when the time arrives to prove everybody deserts.
One thing we have to always keep in mind that never to rely on anyone. There’s no unity anymore, there was a time when it was not tough to trust anyone because people were very honest. The one who does his or her job never shows it on social media. Reels are uploaded on Instagram about friendship, and a new mode of communication is built with friends to say that you are my best friend by sending a reel made on it. In this generation I think it has become mandatory to show off, well everyone’s way of thinking is different. People take photos with family and friends and post them on social media, earlier photos were taken to capture memories to put in the album, frame, and decorate the wall. To maintain the storage, they easily delete the photos but never think about the moments.
Nowadays many applications are made to make friends, by meeting digitally not physically, it is not a wrong way but how a person will know the characters until he or she doesn’t meet each other.
It is very entertaining to listen to songs like “Yeh Dosti Hum Nahi Torenge”, read books like “Swing Time”, watching movies like, “3 Idiots, Chhichhore” on “Friendships”. Real things are rare and that could be seen in the case of friendship too, friends from your childhood won’t break the friendship bond with you, as we know them from the start, everyone is busy, maybe they are unavailable because of their job but it doesn’t mean they are unavailable to encourage you for the obstacles you are facing in your life. Everyone has many friends, few are from childhood, school, college, etc.
And I have observed that it is not a cakewalk to maintain or take care of timing with each friend. But if the friends are mature, they will understand your situation and will accept your request.
Distance in friendship creates more excitement to meet again for a reunion. When the time comes that for an important a person has to go away then he or she could realize the significance of his or her friend’s presence. I realized it too. Chatting on various communication applications has become casual now, there’s no more excitement, but earlier when letters were written by hand, (now emails are used frequently) put in envelopes, and sent to the post office, and once our friend received it, there was excitement to open and read it. It is not necessary that if someone is not responding to your emails have forgotten you.
Things written in stories are far different from reality because nowadays most of the friends are temporary, there’s no everyday conversation, no plans to do something new! If someone cannot adjust in his or her friend circle, chaos happens, and do not want to sort out they leave the friend circle and join others and that’s not the right way to stay happy with others. People can escape but that is not a remedy, they have to adjust. Nowadays people don’t give importance to anyone’s emotions and character, to make friends people spread rumors, sometimes a person is confused and sad from the inside that is why his or her friends ignore him or her. The answer is sometimes people don’t realize which path they are going, they are misguided, some space and time should be given to them, to let them realize because they will come back.
Once friends are in a different zone and aren’t paying attention to us, we should not interfere, we should stay in our zone and should give priority to ourselves. Self-respect matters the most. If friendship gets broken it can be healed but self-respect can’t be built again. We should maintain our friendship and courtesy. We help our friends in many ways but sometimes we also disagree with their decisions, and it becomes tough for both to sort out. It leads to quarrels. A true friend’s purpose is always pure, it will look rough but it will save you.
One of my friends had told this to me when I was on a wrong path:
“Why are you a giving damn to them? They were not your close friends! Don’t care about them, if you think about them then you won’t be able to focus on anything, you won’t be happy. You should never think about these, these disturb a lot, don’t think! If they are not paying attention to you, then talk to us! Who cares! Don’t think about this rubbish! If someone has provoked them and doesn’t like you, then we don’t like that student either! Ignore! Let them go to hell!”
That’s permanent, true, and pure friendship! If someone is scolding you, it means the person is trying to save you. I realized, “Stay up to a limit”.
Many famous philosophers and writers have experienced many happy and sad incidents of friendships and they also shared their thoughts;
Aristotle divided friendship into three types in his work “Nicomachean Ethics” and one of those is True Friendship: based on mutual respect and admiration, where friends are like “a single soul dwelling in two bodies.”
Epicurus stated, “It is not so much our friends’ help that helps us as it is the confidence of their help.”
St. Augustine said, “I want my friend to miss me as long as I miss him”
In Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone written by J. K. Rowling,
Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts Witchcraft and Wizardry, had said at the time of announcing the house cup points, “It’s a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends.”
In conclusion, modern friendships face unique challenges but remain anchored in trust, loyalty, and respect. Despite the digital age’s complexities, the core principles of friendship endure. The timeless qualities of understanding and empathy resume to be the foundation of strong and lasting friendships.
By: Amartya Saha
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