Embracing Change
One of the hardest things in life is accepting that everything doesn’t always go the way you anticipate. Luckily, many of us learn this fact from a young age. Whether it’s a friendship that doesn’t last, a toy that breaks, or even a parent who suddenly “has to leave”, we never know what life has in store for us. But even though we can’t predict the future, we learn to become accustomed to these moments.
The first time I experienced the impact of life’s unpredictability was when I left the place where I was born. I was 8 years old during the summer of 2015 when my parents decided, “You know what? We’re moving to California!” At first, I heard the news and I was like “Yeah! Let’s go!” but as an 8-year-old, I didn’t know how much that decision would impact my life. I’d lived in Connecticut for the first 8 years of my life and at this point, I didn’t know what it was like outside of where I lived.
Connecticut is a tiny state on the east coast of the US that’s mostly made up of forests and mountains. It’s a very small, but friendly community in which everyone knows one another. I was especially close to my classmates in my elementary school, with whom I spent the majority of my time since kindergarten. My two best friends at the time, Ben and Jake, and I were inseparable. We would always be together and do everything together. If I knew on my last day of 2nd grade that I would never see them again, I would’ve probably said a lot more than just, “See you after summer break!”
Little did I know that during that same summer I would be packing my bags and driving across the country to California. The trip took a total of 2 months and we visited a total of 13 states in the process. Each state had its own unique landscapes, people, culture, making the journey exciting and bittersweet. It took me out of my comfort zone and helped me grow. I also had the opportunity to visit some of America’s most popular landmarks such as Mount Rushmore in South Dakota, Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming, and the Grand Canyon in Arizona. The journey across the country was an eye-opening experience for me and allowed me to witness the breathtaking beauty of the diverse landscapes that make up America.
But the thing I remember the most wasn’t the monumental Mount Rushmore or the vast Grand Canyon, but the time I spent looking outside the car window. For a majority of the trip, I spent my time napping in the car and whenever I woke up, I awoke to a new change of scenery. One moment I would see the colorful trees of Minnesota, and the next I would be looking at the mountains of South Dakota. But the reason it was so memorable was because every new change of scenery was something new I had never seen before. While I lived in Connecticut, I was surrounded by forests and I had little access to the internet, so everything outside of Connecticut was new to me.
I’m not regretful in the slightest that I never got to see my childhood friends again. This parting was simply out of my control. There’s a psychology term known as the “internal locus of control.” This term refers to the belief that you have control over what happens. The “external locus of control” is the opposite, where you believe you don’t have control over what happens. I believe that most of the time, people don’t have control over what happens to them.
An 8-year-old me didn’t have any choice but to go on this trip. Even though it wasn’t easy to leave my childhood behind, it was also an opportunity for me to explore the world. As much as I missed my old home, California offered new experiences, new friends, and opportunities I would never have had otherwise. I embraced the change, saw the world outside of Connecticut, and adapted to my surroundings, and I think that’s what life’s all about.
I used to believe that every time I said a final goodbye, the effort I invested in that relationship was a waste. All the shared experiences, laughter, and moments felt like they were all for naught. But this couldn’t be farther from the truth. As I mature and grow, I realize that there is no such thing as a wasted effort. There is something to learn from every relationship, even if the result isn’t ideal. And if nothing else, at least I know the moments I shared with them were genuine.
Life has a way of throwing you a curveball, an unexpected event that changes the trajectory of your life, but it always gives you room to pick yourself back up. While it may cause some bittersweet goodbyes, it also paves the way for new hellos. As I look back and reflect, I realize that those partings, although initially difficult, shaped me and led me to where I am today. Going forward, I’ll inevitably part ways with many more people, some of which will be painful, but I know that each parting will lead to new connections, opportunities, and a deeper understanding of myself and the world around me.
By: Daniel Jin Cho
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