Since entering 11th grade, I started to notice a habit that I had actually been doing for a long time, but only just truly paid attention to — constantly reaching for my phone. When I’m bored, I look for my phone. When I have free time, I look for my phone. When I’m studying and feel a little tired, my hand just wants to grab my phone. Even when there’s actually nothing I need to do on it, I still open it and start scrolling through social media. At first, I didn’t see it as a problem. For me, watching funny, unique, entertaining videos, or sometimes educational ones, was normal. There are also riddle videos that make me curious and want to keep watching the next one. It feels simple — I just want to get rid of boredom.
But it turns out that boredom can make me spend a lot of time. At school, I’ve used my phone when I had an assignment to make a summary. The phone did help because I could search for references or information I needed. But that’s where the problem came from. My initial intention was just to look for material, but after that I could end up opening social media. From one video I move to another, and without realizing it, a lot of time has passed. The same thing happens when I study at home. I open my phone because I want to look for material references. But after finding what I need, I’m often tempted to open social media. In the end, I don’t study right away. I scroll first until at some point I find an educational post that reminds me that I actually have another goal, which is to study. What surprises me even more is that I sometimes only really start studying when it’s already late at night.
I’ve asked myself, “How did it end up like this?” I don’t always feel regret after using my phone. Sometimes it just feels normal. But there are times when I feel so bored and think, “I’ve been scrolling for hours, but nothing has changed at all?” I get entertainment, but I don’t get anything that I am truly fighting for. From there I began to realize that the problem is not just the phone. The phone can indeed help me learn, find information, and get entertainment. But if I can’t control myself, something that should be a tool can actually take up my time.
I once thought that when I’m bored, maybe I should do something else. Other people might choose to garden, read, study, exercise, hang out with friends, or do activities they like. While I more often choose to lie down while looking for my phone and scrolling through social media. Maybe that’s the lifestyle that has unconsciously started to form. When bored, look for a screen. When tired, look for a screen. When I don’t know what to do, look for a screen. That habit actually makes me comfortable. I don’t have to think too much. Just open my phone, and various videos will appear by themselves. There are funny videos, unique videos, information, games, and many things I never even searched for.
But the longer it went on, I started to ask, do I want to keep living like this? That question became stronger when I started to see other people’s achievements. I once saw a post about a kid who was still very young but was already able to earn what I consider a very large amount of money. I felt happy seeing it. I was also amazed. But at the same time a thought appeared, “Could I ever get to that point?” I started to compare myself. At my current age, I feel like I should have achieved a lot of things. Maybe achievements, experiences, or something that could make me proud of myself. But when I look at reality, I feel like I’m still often being lazy. I have a desire to change, but often that desire just stops as an intention.
I tell myself that I have to change, but after that there is no action. I want to be more productive, but I still go back to scrolling. I want to get achievements, but I haven’t really done anything to pursue them. I want to change, but part of me is still comfortable with the current situation. From there I began to understand that the desire to change is not always the same as the willingness to change. Someone can say they want to be successful every day, but if they are not willing to go through boredom, fatigue, failure, and difficulty, that desire may not lead anywhere.
I myself started to feel that when I saw my classmates starting to have their own goals. Some want to join competitions, some are chasing grades, some are starting to think about targets to get into university through certain pathways. Seeing them made me think again about myself. I don’t want to just be someone who says, “I have to change.” I want to actually do something. Finally, I started looking for activities that could fill my days more. I joined activities like Garuda Pala, climbing, and KIR [Youth Scientific Group].
Garuda Pala and climbing are actually well-suited to me. I like activities related to nature and physical activity. When I’m in nature or doing physical activities, I rarely think about my phone. My attention shifts to the activity I’m doing. While I joined KIR because I want to develop myself and know how far my abilities can go. At first I joined these activities because I was genuinely interested. But over time I became grateful because those activities made me hold my phone less often.
I started to feel a fairly simple difference. Morning to afternoon I am at school. After that I join extracurricular activities. When I get home, I rest. At night I study. After finishing, I sleep and prepare myself for the next day. My schedule is more or less like that. Around seven in the morning to three in the afternoon I am at school. Three to five I do activities. Five to seven is used to go home and rest. Then seven to ten I use for studying. After that I sleep and prepare for school the next day.
Of course I still feel tired. But it turns out that tiredness is different from the tiredness after spending hours scrolling. After doing outdoor activities, I am indeed physically tired. But my heart feels happier. I meet many friends, talk with them, laugh, do activities together, and enjoy time without having to constantly hold my phone. Sometimes we even talk about things that have nothing to do with the activity we are doing. But it is precisely simple conversations like that that make me feel relieved. I began to realize that all this time I may have too often sought entertainment through a screen, when in fact there are many other things that can actually make me happy.
I also started to organize my study method. I try to study for thirty minutes, then take a five-minute break. For me, that method is quite effective. After thirty minutes of studying, I feel the need to clear or refresh my mind so that I don’t feel that studying is something too heavy. I also once made a challenge for myself. I told myself that if I managed not to play on my phone while studying, I would buy dim sum as a reward. It sounds simple, maybe even trivial. But for me, that challenge worked. When I managed to complete it, I felt happy. Not just because I got dim sum, but because I succeeded in keeping a promise I had made to myself.
From that experience I learned that change doesn’t always have to start with something big. Sometimes we just need to give ourselves a small challenge and actually do it. I also began to understand the meaning of success in a different way. For me, success is something that is obtained after going through a lot of struggle. That struggle doesn’t always have to be something big. It can be studying harder, joining a competition, trying something I’ve never done before, experiencing failure, feeling sad, feeling bored, then trying to get up again.
In my opinion, success is a form of appreciation because we have been through many things before. I’m not saying that someone who doesn’t have achievements has no value. But for me personally, achievement remains one form of success that I want to pursue. Not just to get recognition, but because I want to prove to myself that I am capable of doing something that previously felt difficult.
Now I am trying to chase several targets. I want to join more competitions, develop my skills, and prepare myself to get the opportunity to go to college through the path I want, including pursuing scholarship opportunities. I know the journey is not easy. I may fail. I may get results that don’t meet expectations. I may feel tired and want to give up. But I am starting to understand that struggle is like that. Struggle doesn’t only contain days when we are enthusiastic. There are also days when we feel lazy, fail, disappointed, even questioning ourselves. What makes the difference may not be who never fails, but who is willing to try to get up again after failing.
If I look back at my old habits now, I don’t want to blame myself for playing on my phone too often. From that habit I actually learned something. I learned that boredom can be a gateway to habits we are not aware of. I also learned that comparing myself to others can make us feel even further from our goals. But I also learned that those feelings can be a starting point for change.
In the past, when I saw other people’s achievements, I only thought that I had to change. Now I am starting to learn to ask, “If I really want to change, what will I do today?” That question sounds simple, but for me the answer is far more important than just having an intention. Because in the end, intention without action will not change anything.
I also don’t know if my life would be very different if I hadn’t played on my phone so often in the past. Maybe in academic and non-academic fields I would have achieved more. Maybe I would have become an athlete. Maybe I would have had more achievements. Maybe I would have already achieved something that I still dream of now. But I cannot go back to the past. What I can do is use the time I still have.
From all those experiences, I started to see lifestyle not just as habits we do every day. In my opinion, lifestyle is also a desire. A desire about how we want to live our lives and what kind of person we want to become in the future. If I want to be someone who is more developed, I have to start living a life that supports that desire. If I want to get achievements, I have to be willing to study. If I want to get a scholarship, I have to prepare myself. If I want my body and mind to be healthier, I have to give time to rest and do activities outside. And if I want to reduce my dependence on my phone, I have to dare to put it down and look for other activities.
Maybe I haven’t fully succeeded yet. I can still be distracted. I can still be lazy. I can still open social media when I should be doing something more important. But at least now I have started to become aware. And in my opinion, awareness is one of the first steps to change.
Therefore, if I meet someone who every time they feel bored immediately picks up their phone, I will not tell them to throw away their phone or stop using social media forever. I will only say: try to leave your phone for a while. Go outside. Do something that makes you move. Talk to friends. Play outside. Learn something you like. Or just sit without a screen and breathe easily. Maybe at first it feels strange because we are so used to always being accompanied by a screen. But from there we might be able to find something that we have forgotten for a long time: that the world outside the phone still has a lot to offer.
In the end, I don’t want to make technology an enemy. The phone remains part of my life and continues to help me in many ways. What I want to change is how I use it. I want to be the person who is in control of my own time. I want that when I’m bored, I have a choice other than scrolling. I want that when I see the success of others, I don’t just feel left behind, but use it as a reason to move. And I want that when one day I manage to achieve something, I can look back and say that it all didn’t happen because I suddenly became diligent or lucky.
But because I once felt lazy, once failed, once compared myself to others, once scrolled for too long, then slowly learned to get up and try again. Maybe that’s the lifestyle I want to build: not a life that is always productive, not a perfect life, and not a life free from technology. But a life that has direction. A life that knows when to work, when to rest, when to use technology, and when to put it down. Because in the end, life change does not begin when we say, “I want to change.” Change begins when we actually do something after saying that sentence.
By: SUGIANINGRUM
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