Imagine you are standing in front of the mirror, wearing your favorite red dress, you put on some make-up, wear your silver dangles, and a diamond bracelet gifted to you by your husband. Today is your marriage anniversary, ten years of togetherness and love but, it feels like only yesterday you had met him. Your gaze goes to the clock, it’s 8 PM already, your husband will be arriving any minute to pick you up for a dinner date. Meanwhile, you decide to complete your daily chores feeling lucky to have such a wonderful life with a loving and caring husband, a job that you love, beautiful children, amazing friends, and healthy parents.
All of a sudden you get a call from the hospital saying, “Sorry, ma’am. But your husband got into an accident and succumbed to his injuries.” What will you do now? You will feel shattered, your picture-perfect life is after all not so perfect, in an instant you lost your lifetime companion, your old age support system, all the dreams of travelling together after retirement will not be fulfilled anymore. Instead, now you are only left with children to take care of and increasing financial burden. And to make things worse, the society ostracizes you, you are asked to let go off any dreams, not being allowed to wear make-up, bright colors or any piece of jewelry anymore. The family and friends whom you took pride in no longer want to be associated with you. Your basic human right to live is taken away from you. Now, you are just a burden to the society with no purpose but only to take care of your children. Why? Because from a happy wife you are now just a distressed widow. That’s your only identity.
This has been the story of many women in ancient India and all around the world, even now, where being a widow is a curse and have to fight for their basic rights, needs and dignity. To curb these issues, United Nations General Assembly annually observes 23rd June as International Widow’s Day.
History and Significance:
Though United Nations had decided on 21st December, 2011 to formally accept 23rd June as International Widow’s Day, the day had originally been adopted by The Loomba Foundation, a well-known non-profit organization established in London, on 25th March, 1998 by Mr. Rajinder Paul Loomba in memory of his late mother, Srimati Pushpa Wati Loomba, who was widowed on the same day at the age of 37 with seven children as her husband, Jagiri Lal Loomba, a local businessman in a small rural town of Punjab, India, named Dhilwan, died due to the widespread disease of tuberculosis in 1954.
Pushpa faced many autocracies after her husband’s death, as she was forced to adopt wearing only white clothes, removing all pieces of jewelry from her body and was even restricted from sitting at the altar of her own son’s wedding due to the belief that a widow brings bad luck to a young couple. However, being a strong-willed and determined woman, she ensured that her children did not face the brunt of the tragedy and provided them with the best chances in life, be it in terms of education or finance.
The impact of these events is what prompted Rajinder to dedicate his life towards raising awareness on issues of widowhood and running of various fundraising campaigns through his organization to educate children of poor widows in developing countries like Africa and South Asia, such as India.
Problems faced by widows in developing countries
According to United Nations, an estimated number of 258 million women are widows in the world of which one in three face violence and one in seven are pushed to poverty. India alone is having around 55 million widows.
In developing and underdeveloped countries, widows are usually disowned by their families with no access to economic resources, healthcare facilities, childcare, education, nutrition, shelter or right to inherit land ownership, instead, some are even made liable to pay the debts of their deceased husband. Due to which many widows are forced to turn to prostitution and begging, or work as domestic laborers.
The majority of widows are seen as easy targets for physical and mental violence, sexual assault and inhumane treatment. Regressive mourning and burial practices in some countries wherein widows are made to have sexual relations with male relatives as a form of cleansing or have to drink the water in which their husband’s corpse has been washed, making them more vulnerable to HIV/AIDS diseases. In India, an age-old social evil, named satipratha (now abolished) in which the wife was made to sacrifice herself by jumping in her husband’s funeral pyre, wearing of white saree, staying in ashrams and living in solidarity confinement are still followed.
Hence, International Widows Day is observed to highlight and make society aware of such issues regarding widowhood, so that, an environment of peace and security is created by extending support in the form of policies and programmes, especially in times of the ongoing pandemic where millions of women have lost their husbands and children.
By Shubhangi Kumar
