Every wish has a price to pay and I had been paying for mine for almost a millennium. Seething in revenge, I earned my regret. Now a thousand years later you’d think the punishment would suffice. But here I was, searching for ways to end my fate worse than death. Or maybe the problem is I was too dead to die. Carrying the weight of uncountable souls, for whom I sacrificed my smiles.
What kind of a human am I? I am above the fragile being. My wish gave me that authority. Aging only on days when I’m truly happy was my revenge on those who took my happiness away and on fate who aided them. Immortality was my shield as I watched every piece on the chessboard disappear without a trace. And immortality became my undoing once the three conditions tagged to my wish kept me from dying.
To be happy ever again, I must return the favour and make someone else happy. To bear immortality, I must also understand the fleeting fragility of human life. And though everything about me set me apart from humans, like them I was still bound to nature.
Strides moving upon the pavement, I stared at the insignificance of creation. When every mind I tapped into only remarked themselves as a miraculous construct, it was hard to find reasons to intervene. If they were so great, there was no favour to return. Until I heard a cry.
Her heart demanded a hearing. But unlike me, she didn’t ask for one. Instead under the puffs of clouds diffusing the daylight, she stared at the bricks painted in colourful tears. Someone had poured out their soul from spray cans and etched them on the street wall. Now, those tears begging to be saved cascaded down her cheeks. Yet her lips curled up in a smile.
Humans always wish for an end. To end their sufferings. For them, it is the most sought-after path to happiness. But for once, I heard only a wail. As if, she had already taken the reins of the end in her hands. And now she needed no other to see it through.
Even with hundred other footsteps, hers echoed sharply against the pavement. The smile on her peach-hued lips sung of despair. They hid the truth her caramel eyes couldn’t cover. That despair pressed in on my heart as I found my steps in sync with hers.
With her resolute smile, she pulled the strap of her white handbag over her shoulder. And for the first time in forever, my heart leapt with the thought of making a part of the insignificant creation smile.
A shiver ran down my spine when her voice resounded in my head.
Stopping in front of the bakery that stole the whites from the cloud for its wall. And the golden rays from the sun for its window frames. “I’ll have the perfect last day,” her voice in my head was as clear as it had been if she had spoken to me.
With my hands tucked in the pocket of my black coat, I queued up behind her in the bakery tucked away from the wintry winds. I’ve never had a desire so overwhelming to help a heart find its way to happiness. Never thought I’d have one surrounded by shapes that all look heart in her eyes. I decided then, today would be the beginning of her perfect days.
Watching her sight feast on the second last bagel, I knew what she wanted before her mouth had the chance to voice it. Yet I knew her happiness would dwindle the second she would step away from me.
I looked over my shoulder as she held her bagel and walked past me. My eyes glide over to the kid dressed in a heavy coat stumble on his feet. His hand flung about before coming in contact with her bagel. I needed to look no longer as the chaos clattered about.
When my eyes locked with the cashier on the register, I already knew she was at my whim. “Give her another bagel,” I order in a low mummer, jerking my head at the girl amid the mess. Dropping the exact amount on the counter, I continued, “As a one plus one.”
Turning on my heels, I passed by the commotion that centred around the girl. “So sorry…” I heard the boy’s mother apologize. The boy already had his head ducked, rubbing his elbow.
And from the corner of my eyes, I watched the girl give them a half-hearted smile.
No later than five minutes, I heard the footsteps again. This time I pulled myself off the tree and seek to see her face. Scoffing, I shook my head when the girl appeared out of the bakery with the second bagel in her hand.
The smile on her face was mixed with confusion. I could see disbelief tugging at her furrowed brows. And when she took a bite, the despair in her smile began to thaw. It wasn’t the bagel. It was what the insignificant creation called luck that warmed her heart.
Canopied by the shelter of the naked trees, the path cutting through the park laid out like a brown silk scarf. Over the horizon, it looked like the meeting ground with the sky. While her footsteps crackled over the fallen leaves, mine was as silent as ever.
I glanced in her direction to read her heart, but her eyes looking skywards caught me off guard. It narrated the tale of fire sparking against ice. And I found myself read her appearance instead. I was too wrapped up in uncovering why she wore the look of confidence as a shield, that I almost missed the rain-soaked ground, the same time as she did.
Her toes were about ready to bathe in the muddy water waiting for its next victim in the middle of the gravel. Though with me on her trail, a snap of my fingers sent a gush of wind her way.
The leaves danced at my mercy and her tousled hair sprawled about her face. As if someone had pulled her by the strings attached to her feet, she stumbled away from the puddle before regaining her posture. And like that, the gust of wind came to an abrupt stop.
Scrutinizing her surrounding before popping in the last bite of bagel, the girl shook her head. Her brows remained lowered and she stuck her eyes to the ground.
A corner of my lip raised, as I watched her eye the puddle over and over again before walking away.
Nestled in the quiet corner of the park, the girl found herself the rosy cedar bench. She plopped her elbow on the great iron arm and flipped open a novel. The name on its white cover sat hidden behind her fingers as she continued staring at the pages.
The birdsong continued filling the silence as I tried to eavesdrop on her thoughts. A buzzing ache sat behind my brows when all I heard were the words she was narrating out of the novel in her mind. Gritting my teeth, I screwed my eyes shut to concentrate better. But it was like the girl had caged her heart away!
“I wish…” her voiced echoed like a distant sound, making me straighten up. The more distant the voice was the more unaware she was of her wish.
“Help!” a desperate yell from the other side of the park, shut her heart again.
My eyes flung open, following the source of the voice. It belonged to a plump girl chasing after a teddy bear canine. He was big enough to topple her over. Maybe that is why he was able to free his leash from her grip. Paws pushing off the ground, he flew like a bullet past the girl with her heart in a cage.
Dropping the novel on the bench, the girl grabbed onto the strap of her bag and dashed after the dog. Her footsteps were fast and without a rhythm. No matter, the leash was several feet away, getting dragged along by the collar.
Perhaps she wished to help? Helping others always seemed to make people happy. Maybe because they felt their insignificant lives had significance after all.
Raising my fingers, I created a loop in the air. The leash raised from the ground, towards the girl’s outstretched hand. It twisted itself on her wrist like a vine and the dog came to a halt. The furball turned around with his tail going round and round like a helicopter blade. In seconds, he had the girl’s hand covered in slobber.
And at last, a tiny smile broke onto her face. The fire in her eyes flickered again as she let her free hand loose in the brown fur, settling by the dog on her knees.
Catching up, at last, the plump girl breathed through her mouth. “Thank you so much,” she choked out, hands over her knees.
The girl handed over the leash twisted around her wrist. “No problem,” she replied, plastering a grin on her lips. There was no happiness there. At least not with enough magnitude to warrant for a real smile.
“He never behaves this way,” the plump girl glared at the dog, who had his big eyes now glued to his walker. “You saved my life. The owner would’ve been so mad at me.”
“This isn’t your dog?” the girl asked, blinking a couple of times.
The plump girl shook her head. “I just walk him.”
Tugging at the leash again, the dog stared the plump girl right in the eyes. It was a demanding stare. He wanted to move. Without a warning, he took flight again, like a ball of unspent energy. Trailing behind him, the plump girl waved goodbye.
Letting out a sigh, the girl pulled the strap of her handbag closer to her neck. The corner of her eyes crinkled slightly as she continued admiring the teddy bear canine flying down the path. Her feet instead of returning to the bench, followed the wet paw prints.
And my eyes landed on the opened novel lying on the bench. Half reaching for the novel myself, my fingers curl into fists. Taking a step back, I looked over at the man walking past me with his craned neck staring at the clouds hiding the setting sun.
The moment he peered over at me his feet came to a halt. And I needed no words to make him pick up the novel and turn around.
With quick long strides, he covered the distance between the girl and himself. “Excuse me!” the man exclaimed in a deep voice and raised brows.
The girl looked over her shoulder as she replied, “Yes?”
Holding out the closed novel, the man’s lips curled up in a smile. “I believe this is yours,” he said, looking from the novel to the girl. I could hear his heart skip a beat when the girl met his gaze.
Scoffing, I raised my hand to send him away. She didn’t need a man latching onto her. Happiness was not meant to be shared. At least not without having it unfairly divided between two. At least not in my experience.
The smile on the girl’s face grew. And my hand came to a halt when she nodded and exclaimed, “Yes!” Taking the novel from his hand, she clutched it against her chest. Stroking its corner she said, “Thank you.”
“I’ve read this,” the man said, pointing towards the novel, “do you like it?”
The girl nodded. “It’s becoming one of my favourites.”
“You have a good choice,” the man replied, tugging at the sleeves of his jacket. His brows arched skywards as he asked, “Do you know the second part is coming out soon?”
The girl’s brightening eyes went round and she questioned back, “Is it?”
“Yes,” the man replied with a firm nod. “Once you reach the ending, you won’t be able to wait.”
Her mouth quirked up in a smile, giving her rosy cheeks a slight rise. “I guess I’ll have to finish this soon.”
As the sky adorned her dusky gown, I watched the girl walk down the path basking in the calm stillness. Even in the amber glow, her thoughts were as guarded as the morning. But watching her the whole day made me realise, what made her happiest was others’ smiles.
So, I raised my hand one last time and snapped my fingers to gather all the grey clouds in the sky. Thunder roared cocooned in the black sky. Like petals of flowers, rain blossomed from the clouds.
The girl glanced at the shower that kissed her skin. Tucking away the novel in her bag, she covered her head with her hands. With steady steps, her playful feet were rewarded by little splashes. The despair that pressed against her heart lifted when colourful umbrellas began filling the street.
From under my umbrella, I watched her stop by a tiny store. By the glass door, under the awning, a basket with one umbrella caught her attention. She reached for it at the same time as another grasp.
Arms wrapped around the baby strapped to her chest, a woman tried to catch her breath. Her baby had the same dark hair like hers. Amused by the rain patterns on the pavement, the baby flashed a dimpled smile.
The girl paused to look up. Withdrawing her hand, she clutched it against her chest. “You can take it,” she said, smiling as she jerked her head towards the red umbrella.
“No,” the woman replied, shifting her baby’s weight on her other hand. He had suddenly grown interested in his mother’s hair, grabbing a handful in his chubby fist. As the woman tried to untangle her tresses, she spoke, “You reached for it first.” In her thoughts, I could tell she wanted to pick it up. Her hand tightened around her baby’s torso as she peeked out of the window.
“I’ll call someone.” The girl raised the phone in her hand to her eye level, pointing out the window she said, “My home is close by.”
The woman heaved a sigh of relief, grabbing onto the umbrella. “Thank you so much,” she replied with a grin.
The baby’s eyes held the girl at last. The gaze was all love and happiness. Blinking his doe-eyes a couple of times, a giggle erupted from his lips, flashing a gummy smile. As his mother carried him away, his tiny fingers wiggled the girl’s way.
I saw it then as the girl’s eyes crinkled and she let a grin slip. Her heart was much warmer now than it had been in the morning. She bounced on the balls of her feet, waving. “Bye-bye!”
Skipping down the concrete pavement, the girl no longer seemed to care that the bottom of her pale blue jeans were soaked. Her eyes lit up as she ducked under one umbrella then another lined up on the pavement. But she stayed under none for more than a second.
My outstretched hand held the umbrella over her head, as I matched my steps with hers before we both came to a halt. As my gaze lock with hers, I found myself holding my breath. As if what I was about to say was the most crucial moment of my life. My grip tightened around the umbrella. “I’m going that way,” I said, feeling every pound of my heart amplified. “You can share my umbrella.”
Why did it matter if she rejected my offer? I had done enough for her. More than I had ever done. Yet somehow, this insignificant creation’s answer was significant to me.
Her mouth curved into a smile, she nodded. “Thank you,” her whisper was much happier. The shuffle of her footsteps coming closer to my side was the loudest sound despite the pouring rain.
I tipped the umbrella over her side, letting the raindrop invoke their patterns on the pavement without touching her skin. Holding my free hand behind my back, I balled it into a fist. My booming heartbeat mirrored her overly loud footsteps.
Glancing in my direction from the corner of her eyes, the girl ducked her head. “It started raining out of nowhere.”
“Do you want it to stop?” I asked, letting my balled-up palm fall to my side. My brows drew together. Had I read her wrong? Did she dislike the rain? But I no longer felt the despair of her heart pressing against mine.
“No,” she replied, raising her chin towards the sky. Her glossy eyes fought back the tears ready to run down her cheeks. Pressing her fingertips against the corner of her eyes, she left her hand there. “I wish every day was like today.”
My mouth twitched. A warmth spreading through my chest. It was easier for her to avoid my gaze. Being more than a head shorter than me, turning her face the other way and I disappeared. For me, she was all I saw. “You’d wish for that?” I asked, taking in the sight of her. It is obvious she wanted to match the pace of my steps. But her feet staggered to keep up. I placed my next step closer to the last one. Until it was small enough to match hers. “Why?”
“It was a good day,” the girl replied, glancing at me from under her lashes.
As her arm bumped into my side, I found myself jolt like someone had sent an electric current through me. Gripping onto the umbrella with both hands, I breathed through my mouth. But to her, I was not there when she looked away. Unable to tear my gaze from her face, I asked, “What if you’d have to pay back in kind for your wish?”
Her brows snapped together and she pressed her lips in a thin line. Glancing over at me for a quick second, she asked, “Say I’d have to pay back by making someone have a good day?”
Not trusting myself to find my voice, I nodded.
She scratched her head, looking intendedly at the pavement. Tilting her head to one side, the girl shrugged. “I don’t see the problem.”
Before I could stop myself, I found my brows raised skywards. If only she was desperate enough to make her wish come true. Finding herself tied to return the favour would make her question her good day. Though deep down, I was glad she wasn’t desperate enough. I could make every day the same for her without her wishing for it. “Wouldn’t every good day feel burdened?”
The girl chuckled as she hugged herself. “Why would it?”
“If I had to make someone happy for every smile I received,” I mumbled. Already feeling my heart in my mouth, I could no longer bear the sight of her eyes boring into mine. Fixing my gaze on the approaching pedestrian crossing, I gulped in. “It wouldn’t really be happiness.”
I felt it before I saw it. Her warm fingertips touched my icy hands. As my head snapped in her direction, I saw her push the umbrella towards me. Following her gaze, I saw the back of my coat drenched.
“But everyone already does that,” the girl said, leaving her hand above the umbrella handle. Though it no longer touched my hand, I could feel her warmth. “Like you offered me your umbrella, who knows you saved me from falling sick?” her smile was no longer held back. Instead, the corner of her eyes and nose crinkled. “If I smile at a stranger today, I’ve given them something to look forward to.”
“Isn’t it selfish?” I asked, moving my index finger closer to her hand. It stayed next to her, basking in her warmth like the wintry sun. Scanning her cheerful face, I left it there. “I give you something so now I can be happy to have something in return.”
“Of course, if your intent for doing something is to get something in return,” the girl replied, nodding. Her hand relaxed on the umbrella and she loomed closer. Her head jerked towards my drenched shoulder. “But from what I can tell, you have a harder time in taking than giving.”
“I don’t like either,” I replied, sliding my hand away from hers. With my furrowed brows, I gritted my jaw and looked away. She was a part of the insignificant creation… her smiles, however brief didn’t mean anything to me. I tried to seal away the warmth slithering closer to my heart.
“Do you hate it that I’m walking with you?”
As if her question was a wrecking ball, all my defences came crashing down. The warmth from her being flooded my heart faster than I could seal all the gaps she had created. I found myself draw in a sharp breath before meeting her gaze. “No.”
In her eyes I saw humanity. Her significance. And as I moved closer, her breathing softened and the icy coldness in her eyes thawed at last. It melted into a smile softer than the fresh morning glow. Our shoulders relaxed at the same time and neither of us looked away first.
“The thing is –” the girl said, coming to a halt. Turning to face me, she craned her neck to lock her gaze with mine properly. Her hand still rested right above mine. “– if you begin by giving first then taking wouldn’t feel so bad. If I had already given someone a happy day, I wouldn’t feel guilty if the favour is returned.” Taking her hand off the umbrella, she pulled the strap of her bag closer over her shoulder. Her lips stretched in a smile as she shook her head and said, “But if I haven’t given something I can’t take anything either.”
All my thoughts came to a halt. I could no longer hear anything else but her heart pounding like mine. A crease formed between my brows as I watched her take a step back. Then another, until she stood in the pouring rain. My hands itched to pull her under the umbrella again, but I stood glued to the ground.
“I have to go that way,” she pointed behind herself. Now beaming with the brightest smile I had seen all day, she raised her hand and waved. “Thank you.”
With a snap of my fingers, I turned the constant pitter-patter of the rain into a drizzle. By the time her feet touched the apartment building, even the drizzle flew away on the wings of the breeze.
I watched tucked under the shades on the trees as the lights on the first floor flickered and filled out the window. There was a voice I didn’t recognize. It spoke in a raspy tone as if she had just woken up. “I thought you were going to come home crying with the way you left this morning.”
“You’re not going to believe what happened today…” the girl began, her voice ringing with joy.
Turning on my heel, I strode down the freshly washed pavement. A few blocks down, I caught a reflection of my face in the window of a car parked on the roadside and came to a halt. Everything was the same, except a strand of grey hair stood out. My lips that never felt the need to smile, crept into a silent grin.
Author’s Bio: Disha Walia is a writer, editor for those who have trouble putting thoughts into words, and a lifelong storyteller. As a Psychology graduate with a Master’s degree in English, she loves exploring the unknown world of words with an interdisciplinary approach. She has a love for hobbies that focus on finer details, creativity, and intriguing depths.
