1. Introduction
The emotional and personal effects of discovering a cheating spouse can have major, far-reaching consequences, with feelings of anger, betrayal, and grieving, all of which can affect your sense of self-worth.
A situation like this can have effects beyond the individual and can change family relationships, attitudes to friends, and an overall effect on personal values.
Because of these consequences, it is important to ensure there is clear evidence of cheating. Accusations without proof can generate conflict and distress and damage relationships, so it is critical to fully investigate and ensure the accusations have a factual basis so there can be constructive communication between the parties involved.
2. Look for Behavioral Changes
The first signs of infidelity in a relationship are often changes in behavior, such as a change in daily routine, secrecy, avoiding intimacy, and being emotionally distant.
They may lack interest in their spouse’s activities or conversation and be defensive about relationships with others.
The cheating spouse may start new hobbies or interests outside the home and act suspiciously or with irritability when asked about them, or they may also start to pay more attention to their appearance.
They may become secretive about finances, and unwilling to share information about spending habits.
These and similar changes in behavior are not in themselves proof of cheating but are definite red flags that suggest further investigation.
3. Monitor Communication
As a first step to collect evidence of cheating, communications can be monitored to find out who the partner is talking to, and what the conversation is about.
In today’s digital age this is much easier than it was in the past. Phone monitoring software such as FamiGuard Pro is readily available to meet all monitoring requirements in complete confidentiality, without the target person being aware.
Surveillance and monitoring tools can be used to check phone records, social media activity, text messages and emails sent or received on the spouse’s smartphone.
Some messages and apps may be hidden or deleted, which is a red flag and needs investigating in more detail.
Close observation of communications can show signs of infidelity, and monitoring efforts can give some insights into other relationships, raising concerns about loyalty.
4. Use Technology to Your Advantage
FamiGuard Pro monitoring software was originally designed as a parental control app and can be used for many other purposes including tracking all activity on a partner’s cell phone. It is especially useful when the concern is how to catch a cheating spouse.
The FamiGuard Pro software enables full viewing of around 43 social media and messaging apps such as Facebook, Instagram, Whatsapp etc including hidden messages, and records of previous calls both sent and received.
With full access to the target phone or device, you can see not only incoming and outgoing communications but also the list of contacts saved to the phone’s directory.
Calls made on the phone, whether using apps or telecoms, can be automatically recorded by FamiGuard Pro (although currently only Android devices are supported), and all online chats can be listened to.
It can also track the phone’s location, so the spouse or partner can be located outside the home and their movements can be tracked.
Naturally, this close monitoring may raise questions of invasion of privacy, however, FamiGuard Pro is completely legally compliant, and any information obtained can be used as legal evidence as required.
5. Hire a Private Investigator
The whole area of relationships and potential cheating can be very difficult to deal with, resulting in a lot of stress and possible confrontations. One option to avoid pitfalls like this, where there is suspicion but no solid proof, can be to hire a private investigator.
Private investigators are skilled in gathering evidence discreetly without the need for personal confrontation until absolute proof has been obtained. They can legally conduct surveillance and background checks and identify patterns of behavior and clandestine meetings that may indicate cheating.
For a spouse this is the most trouble-free method but also the most expensive; however a licensed private investigator’s findings such as in their reports, videos, photos or audio recordings are usually accepted in a court of law and can be helpful in obtaining out-of-court settlements.
In most cases the investigator works in complete secrecy so the target person does not know they are being watched, which is beneficial if the concerns about cheating turn out to be unfounded, so it does not bring any conflict into the relationship.
6. Observe Their Actions
At the first hint of a cheating spouse, it is important to closely note their daily actions for inconsistencies. Are they being totally honest about where they have been and who they are with? It is difficult to know, but red flags are raised if they are not fully upfront about what they are doing.
For example, extended work trips? Unexplained absences from home? If all above board they should be able to quickly put any suspicion at rest but if there is cheating happening they will be unclear and unwilling to explain fully when confronted with casual questions about activities or minor details about their behavior, and FamiGuard Pro location tracking will confirm or disprove their version of events.
The cheaters themselves will also feel under stress in hiding their actions from their partner, so will be nervous and insecure, and unless they are skilled liars it may be easy to catch them out on small inconsistent points of their explanations.
Watching carefully for reactions like this is, again, not proof but will add to the evidence being collected in other ways.
7. Confront with Evidence
Collecting evidence, especially with a stealth app like Famiguard Pro, is probably the easy part. The hard part is confronting the spouse about cheating since it is always an occasion for conflict, and it may be necessary to meet in a public place or with a counselor as a witness
It is important to do this calmly and peacefully and to present the evidence as strongly as possible.
This might include financial records showing irregular purchases, records of unexplained absences, digital proof from a phone monitoring app such as FamiGuard Pro, and any reports from witnesses or investigators.
From the start, most people will try to deny the accusations, even with solid proof, and they may exhibit anger and hostility. It is important to stay composed and focused and not rush into any decisions about the future.
The key point is to identify the truth before deciding the next steps, which can be done with the assistance of a guidance counselor. In some cases where there is genuine remorse, it is possible to take time to rebuild trust and eventually move on, but be prepared for other eventualities.
8. Seek Support
Decisions and life choices made in times of emotional stress can often be misjudged, so a good step is to first talk to a therapist or counselor.
They are trained to look objectively at similar situations and to see where the best path lies. They will talk the whole thing through with you and assist in making the best-informed decision about the relationship, whether it is able to be fixed or if it is completely broken down.
Therapists will also help with the sense of loss and grieving that comes with the betrayal of a relationship, and can help to put it in perspective so that it can be dealt with appropriately.
9. Conclusion
Red flags and suspicious behavior are not clear proof of cheating and are just early indicators that something may be wrong.
To take it further, solid proof in the form of documentation and legal evidence is needed, and a digital tool like FamiGuard Pro is extremely useful in highlighting incidents from phone calls, messages, social media apps and location tracking.
If necessary, private investigators can also be a real help in establishing proof beyond doubt.
Aside from gathering evidence, it is important not to overlook the need for emotional support at a very stressful time, and it is helpful to talk things through with a close friend who can be trusted with discretion, or a professional counselor who is experienced in these matters.
Hopefully these interactions will help to realise what is the best outcome for all concerned.
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