In the end
Doubts, they creep up on me.
That maybe my choices were wrong
But it’s too late to turn back now
So, I suppose I’ll go along
But a part of me,
It knows
They’ll succeed me
And I’ll be left alone
My destiny,
Is not what I am
But I see now,
I am not what I once was
What if I can’t support them?
Or me, my brother or friends?
What if I can’t help them?
Or be there, when they need me the most?
What if, in the end,
I don’t matter.
After all,
What have I ever been?
But a supporter, a starter?
Now, I’m just a glass, waiting….
…..To shatter.
Writing, my only tool.
Reading, my only solace.
For in the end, I know,
I will be on my own.
What is my purpose in life?
Perhaps, I’ll never know
But when I’m dead and gone
Perhaps, I will bow
To the imaginary audience
And to my dear life
And to my friends
Whom I know,
I’ll not be able to follow.
Love? Yeah maybe I’ll find it.
Or maybe I’ll die alone,
And see what’s behind it.
One day though,
I know
That this will end,
And even if, all is not at peace
At least I will be.
Ah, my doubts,
You do not control me
For who I am,
Is who I’ll always be
No matter the darkness,
That holds me.
Yeah, happy endings,
Aren’t my thing,
But I’ll tell you one secret,
My heart is vulnerable,
If you can find a way,
To breach it.
Break the walls that I have put up
Go through the maze of spikes and snakes
Make your way to the barren lands
And across them,
You’ll find the golden sands.
There your choices matter
More than your thoughts ever will
So go across or around,
But make sure you reach it.
And once you do, and have calmed your heart,
Treat it with respect,
As you would a sacred place.
And do not disgrace it.
When you have made this journey,
Then you shall know the depths of my pain.
And that might be my only gain.
And your ultimate knowledge,
If, that is, you are worthy,
To hold it.
For, in the end,
Either everything matters,
Or nothing does.
And nothing we do can change it.
By: Dhruvaditya Tiwari
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